Internet Nostalgia

I got in my email today a letter from Livejournal, telling my that one of my journals was going to be deleted. I was confused, as I thought I had only the one... and then I remembered. This was starting post in that journal.

A Step

Nov. 19th, 2006 | 04:27 am

Today I make a step. Whether or not it is in the right direction only time will tell, but a step it is. Today I am outing myself. Sad that it is on a journal which no one will see and sadder that no one knows who I am but even Rome fell one brick at a time. Take the news and run with it, another gay exists in the world.

Can we notice the time/date stamp? I think, though I'm not sure, this was after I'd come out to Becca a little... meaning I told her I thought I might be gay but wasn't really sure about it. I am SO great at opening up to people. (SARCASM) Also, apparently Novemeber is the month because on the 17th of 2008 is when I came out for the last time. A two-year process; Good Lord. :p

Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges.

Shit. It's been a while. I've been living in the land of social networks and split second communication. Blogging is not really part of this world. Entirely too many letters. If it can't be said in 140 characters or less, it's not worth reading. Oh, which reminds me I should twitter that I'm updating my blog....
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On second thought, no. I don't think I will.

So then, when was the last time I actually talked about myself on here? Dec. 15th. I wish I could say that I've done things since then. Visited strange and wonderful lands, eaten bizarre food.

There is one thing I haven't shared, that anyone who reads this already knows so what's the point really? I suppose I can put down in nearly ordered and slightly more thought through, the thoughts about it all. The thing is I'm gay. I came out to my parents in Nov. (The 17th to be exact) and guess how many times we've talk about it? Zero. Gooo Catholics! Denial, we can DO that.

Alright, so I'm not completely broken up about the whole parents thing. Honestly, it's better this way. I think my dad is ok-ish with it. He's always been the tough guy that would do anything for his sons, so he tacitly accepts it. My mom though, she is not happy. I think she's trying, but her faith has always taken first priority. I'm not complaining, it's shows a certain strength of character. I wouldn't be the person I am today if she wasn't the person she is. It's just... sometimes it makes me sad that we can't really talk anymore. At the same time though, I don't think I would REALLY be able to talk about the guys I've dated with my parents. I mean, ever. This is going to be one of those death bed things, I can feel it.

ALRIGHT, whatever. Getting rambly. And running out of time. I'm taking a break from practicing. That's the other big news. (Almost a year and I only have 2 big news items, Jeebus)

I'm going to school. Well, BACK to school but a REAL school. University. I'm freaking out. Auditions are on Thursday, and I'm not prepared. I'll get there, but it's gonna be WORK. My shoulders are still sore from yesterday's session. Ugh, I want this so badly. It's retarded. I don't NEED things. But this... I need this. I need to prove to myself that I haven't stopped growing, that there is more for me to do than teach piano for a miserly. smarmy guy and make coffee at a coffee shop. To be fair, I really do like the coffee thing but as a career? Not so much.

Whoops, there goes the timer. Back to the keyboard. Thanks for reading I guess. I'll try to remember this exists a bit more. Peace.