Rube would be proud.

If you do nothing else today, watch this video. It's fun and wonderful and quirky and makes you want to play with marbles for hours. :)

Internet Nostalgia

I got in my email today a letter from Livejournal, telling my that one of my journals was going to be deleted. I was confused, as I thought I had only the one... and then I remembered. This was starting post in that journal.

A Step

Nov. 19th, 2006 | 04:27 am

Today I make a step. Whether or not it is in the right direction only time will tell, but a step it is. Today I am outing myself. Sad that it is on a journal which no one will see and sadder that no one knows who I am but even Rome fell one brick at a time. Take the news and run with it, another gay exists in the world.

Can we notice the time/date stamp? I think, though I'm not sure, this was after I'd come out to Becca a little... meaning I told her I thought I might be gay but wasn't really sure about it. I am SO great at opening up to people. (SARCASM) Also, apparently Novemeber is the month because on the 17th of 2008 is when I came out for the last time. A two-year process; Good Lord. :p

Super awesome.

I have crazy amounts of "IT'S ALMOST SPRING BREAK." This is a new deal, because I've never actually HATED school before. But now I do! :D Seriously, I just don't get the point. Fuck money, I'd rather be happy. Right? The singing and playing are nice though... so I guess that's something. I'm going to maaayyyybe do homework now. I really should... I just don't wanna! Ugh, FINE. WHATEVER.

Love you all.

Back to Bremerton

I came home this weekend... this was either a great idea or a terrible one. I'm currently sitting in my previous coffee shop and am reminded of all of the things I loved about it and most of the ones I hated. I've been home for just 24 hours and I don't wanna leave! Bremerton was always the lesser form of Seattle, but compared to Ellensburg it's freakin' New York and there are people here. People I love and who love me and who actually care if I'm doing well. I don't GET that in Ellensburg. Ugh, whatever. /whine. I love coffee, and have to finish this concert review so I can go do theory homework and watch the Olympics with Jill's mom type. So I'm going to do that, but if you read this you should say hi. Not using facebook sucks.

EDIT: I'm going to be trying out blog templates. (I need to learn HTML) If anyone has anything piano related NOT fucking anime please stand up? I really need to learn HTML. Ugh. Starting with the craziest I can find, just 'cause this be my house and I do what I want. Which currently is to have a TERRIBLE looking blog. w()()ts.

Two in a row

Pretty sure this is a record. If it keeps up I may have to spend some time sprucing this place up a bit.

I had a dream last night that I was living in this giant house with a bunch of friends, and when walking through the solarium (seriously, giant house) I was attacked by crab-spiders. The evil genius next door had created them, and then it turned that the friends by the pool were the royal family and the queen mother and I jumped into the nearest helicopter and went to Turkey. It gets a little fuzzy from there, my alarm had gone off and NPR was talking about Haiti. I was late for class too, which sucks.

Epic fail of the quarter, I didn't finish my research paper. I've come to peace with the fact that my teacher probably will think of me as some druggie slacker... I'll probably re-take it next year. It's the ONLY class I'm doing badly in... the ONLY ONE. I'm going to be ok(ish) with it.

It has gotten me to hate myself enough to go for a run... if this self-loathing keeps up I might have something approaching a body... that's neat.

Peace.

Wait, let me go check something..... oh ok. August. That's my birthday month. It's also the last time I updated this thing. I gave up inmyfacespacenovel for Lent and am having trouble because now I don't remember what the internet is for plus I don't have anything to whine at. Except for Livejournal, but that's gotten depressing lately. Holy isht! Let's make some happy.

Ummm........

Oh yeah, The other day I did an art project! That's happy! I have mucho goodo stencils from my days in Fuego (Every possible subtext is meant there) and my trash and recycle bins were boring and people didn't know what was what and I was tired of digging through the trash for cans and bottles SO *breath* I put lovely trees on the recycle bin and less lovely but still fun spray paint cans on the trash. I know that you're supposed to throw those in the special bin at the dump, but my stencil only had that and headphones that were "trash-like" and hell no was I going to hint at musical devices in the garbage. That's just wrong.

...still waiting for the clothes to dry....

...this is like when you see someone you know and have a brief chat and say good-bye but then it ends up you're going the same direction and you have to awkwardly hold the door open for them or wait in front of an elevator. I hate that. You can pretend to get a text message, but then sometimes you feel rude so you try to hide looking at it but then they see you and it looks even worse... like you drew attention to how awkward the moment was.

...sometimes I think about what it would be like if I was super crazy smart. Like, knew everything I needed to know ever in my life but had to go through life normally so other people wouldn't know. It would be just like what happens everyday now, except I would know shit. That would be nice.

I may start another list journal. I like lists, journals and writing implements so it would probably be fairly exciting for 20 minutes or so. I'm easily distracted so those types of things rarely last.

I think the clothes are dry so I'm going to go now. It's late and I have school.

Oh yeah... Life Update; I'm in college.

Goodnight.

Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges.

Shit. It's been a while. I've been living in the land of social networks and split second communication. Blogging is not really part of this world. Entirely too many letters. If it can't be said in 140 characters or less, it's not worth reading. Oh, which reminds me I should twitter that I'm updating my blog....
...
....
...
On second thought, no. I don't think I will.

So then, when was the last time I actually talked about myself on here? Dec. 15th. I wish I could say that I've done things since then. Visited strange and wonderful lands, eaten bizarre food.

There is one thing I haven't shared, that anyone who reads this already knows so what's the point really? I suppose I can put down in nearly ordered and slightly more thought through, the thoughts about it all. The thing is I'm gay. I came out to my parents in Nov. (The 17th to be exact) and guess how many times we've talk about it? Zero. Gooo Catholics! Denial, we can DO that.

Alright, so I'm not completely broken up about the whole parents thing. Honestly, it's better this way. I think my dad is ok-ish with it. He's always been the tough guy that would do anything for his sons, so he tacitly accepts it. My mom though, she is not happy. I think she's trying, but her faith has always taken first priority. I'm not complaining, it's shows a certain strength of character. I wouldn't be the person I am today if she wasn't the person she is. It's just... sometimes it makes me sad that we can't really talk anymore. At the same time though, I don't think I would REALLY be able to talk about the guys I've dated with my parents. I mean, ever. This is going to be one of those death bed things, I can feel it.

ALRIGHT, whatever. Getting rambly. And running out of time. I'm taking a break from practicing. That's the other big news. (Almost a year and I only have 2 big news items, Jeebus)

I'm going to school. Well, BACK to school but a REAL school. University. I'm freaking out. Auditions are on Thursday, and I'm not prepared. I'll get there, but it's gonna be WORK. My shoulders are still sore from yesterday's session. Ugh, I want this so badly. It's retarded. I don't NEED things. But this... I need this. I need to prove to myself that I haven't stopped growing, that there is more for me to do than teach piano for a miserly. smarmy guy and make coffee at a coffee shop. To be fair, I really do like the coffee thing but as a career? Not so much.

Whoops, there goes the timer. Back to the keyboard. Thanks for reading I guess. I'll try to remember this exists a bit more. Peace.